“Goodbye, my loves! Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye!”
I am looking at all the okcupid boys I have said I will get a drink with next weekend after “my schedule calms down”… and I don’t think it’s possible. I’ve overshot this.
I mean, it’s just not possible to go out for drinks 6 times in 3 days and give the same small talk speech to each one.
I think… perhaps… I’ve been too eager.
Just found my Spirit Animal: and her name is
MIRANDA HART.
Watch her 30 minute episodes on vimeo for free.
James Taylor and Carly Simon, singing Taylor’s song “Close Your Eyes”, 1977. They were married at the time.
Feeling all of the feelings this week, obviously.
In Which A Horoscope Makes Me Cry
From astrobarry’s horoscopes for this week:
LIBRA (September 23-October 22): The gift of consciously securing yourself perspective, Libra, is a gift of distance. It is a gift of purposeful prioritization, a strategy to neutralize the overpowering sensation that a given circumstance has taken over everything, a decision to decide for yourself what to concentrate on and what to perceptually will into background noise. It is a gift of reanimated optimism, a reminder that any single chapter does not—cannot—tell the whole story… and that, since all the chapters that come after this one have not yet been written, you still hold a lot of authorial agency in steering this story to whatever ending will exemplify your chosen moral. Grant yourself this gift of perspective, please, to help inspire forward-thinking plans for your next month or two. Obviously, such plans may (and likely will) be subject to change, though that’s no reason to skip the exercise. Though you probably have certain loose-ends that’ll require continued tying-up in the weeks to come, you also need to begin investing intentional attention toward the important aim(s) you’ll more actively pursue as you become increasingly freer. Perhaps this period of inescapable overwhelm has actually made you clearer on what else is that important…?
SEE YOUR HOROSCOPE FOR THIS WEEK HERE
IN OTHER NEWS
- a man named Woyzeck just messaged me on okcupid. If that’s not a bad sign, I don’t know what is.
If he calls me she-wolf at dinner, it’s over. AM I RIGHT, THEATER MAJORS???
Admit something:
every time you hear about how these 2 people from school are still together, or how he loves how smart she is, or how these others from before that life are going to Europe, how exciting, and these others just found each other, and how happy we are for them, and those others on the train just standing next to each other like old yews that just grew like that -
there are two divided selves within you.
One self says,
I can do that. I will be that. I will have that. Other, Other, Other.
The other self says,
I had that. Mine, Mine, Mine.
I should mention that it shows on our face, when we do this.
Because then your Aunt Kathy says, don’t be so bitter, no one will date you.
We, you and I, must learn to let go of owning hearts like that. Instead, make love as the monks make their sand paintings on the top of the mountain, which they work on for months and then destroy; with fervor and sweetness in creation, and sweetness and fervor in releasing.
With practice in this way, a heart is more mine and yours when we let it blow over the mountain edge than it ever was when we shared a bed with it in the darkness.
Ignoring John Raitt’s terrible acting, I’m melting.
The point is: we’ve got bigger things to do.
“There were tides in the new earth, long before there was an ocean. In response to the pull of the sun the molten liquids of the earth’s whole surface rose in tides that rolled unhindered around the globe and only gradually slackened and diminished as the earthly shell cooled, congealed, and hardened” —Rachel Carson, The Sea Around Us
High and low tide in great britain.
In Which Okcupid is the Strangest Thing I’ve Ever Done
Yes. I’m doing the internet dating.
And NOT because I’m afraid of my singledom and NOT because I need validation, okok??
But these elements do get addressed in the process somehow.
There seem to be 3 tiers to the contact one can receive:
LEVEL 1: hey whats up
- no punctuation
- no emotion
- sometimes an emoticon follows - :) or ;) or 8) or even ;) ;) ;) or something else gross.
- and this boy expects me to respond with something OTHER than, “whats up”. He’s opened the conversation, and now it is my job to be flirty and ask all the right questions. SUPER.
- often this boy’s profile picture is a selfie in the mirror so that you can see both his iphone and his washboard abs. Well, thanks for the peep show, but I’m moving on.
LEVEL 2: Hey we should have sex sometime
- and then I’m like 8$. Or something.
- the point is, the internet is huge; don’t they have other sites for that?? Does my picture of me in a museum in front of a taxidermied bear REALLY scream, “THROW YOUR DICKS AT ME PLEEZ”
- no, we shouldn’t. ok BIEEE.
LEVEL 3: oh wow you’re gorgeous, im sure you get this all the time, just thought id let you know i agree haha lol ;*
- still no punctuation
- did you even READ my profile??
- did you even LISTEN in English class??
- ok, I’m being cruel; some girls will probably respond very well to a message that just calls them beautiful. And you know what? It feels good to be reminded of that, to be reminded that you are/ I am A CATCH. And that sportsguy289 would be lucky to take you/me out, if only to look at our cute noses.
- However: I’m looking for something more extraordinary duh. At least know how to FAKE that you care about my personality, am I right??
LEVEL 4: First off, you’re beautiful. Hey, I like spongebob, too? What kind of theater do you do? I really like your picture with the bear, great impersonation lol
- Despite my horrid judgements of this man that are bringing me closer to hell, I will probably end up getting a drink with him. Because maybe he’s not a good writer, but he is making A SERIOUS EFFORT, PEOPLE. And bravo.
THE RESULT: and this is a good thing>
I gave my number on a napkin to a man in a taqueria the other day. I never do anything like that. But hey, I just got a couple messages reminding me how swell I am, and wouldn’t this guy think so too??
Internet dating can make you bold. Jus saying. Go get em, girl.
